Day 4...

I started having the "what have I done's" yesterday...but I'm much better today. I got to eat some mashed potatoes with protein powder for dinner last night and two teeny tiny bites of chicken. Chewed up 40 times. Try doing that sometime...it's pretty hard to chew something up that much. I've been craving foods, but just knowing how badly they'll hurt me, keeps me away. The one thing that is kinda killing me is Dr.Pepper. I told Mom yesterday that I was close to a panic attack because I wanted one so badly. The Dr said I could pour one into a cup, let it go flat and drink it then...but I mean, really?? what's the point. I made a choice when I decided to have this done, lifestyle change. forever. It's almost liberating to be eating just to nourish my body and that's the only purpose. Might sound odd to some people, but it's kinda awesome for me.

I missed my psychologist appointment yesterday. I didn't think it would effect me that much, but it has. Good thing my Momma is here. She's done so much to help me, both physically and mentally. She knows when to shut up and she knows when to say what I don't want to hear, but NEED to hear. Thanks Momma. I was doing really well yesterday, but not feeling so well today. I wanted to go to for a walk today, but I don't think that'll happen. I'm weak. Trying to balance the proper amount of water (64oz/day) and protein(60g) has proven to be difficult. But after I've talked to other sleevers, they've just said to focus on water and take two Flintstones vitamins a day. The biggest concern is dehydration. You definitely don't want that. They also said to try and get as much protein as you can, but don't make yourself sick trying. It will all come in time, and healing.

So all and all, I'm pretty happy today. Just trying to balance food, kids, and love ;) My poor hubby has been pretty worried, I hope he can see how good I'm doing...and how happy I am. and I promise, it's not just the vicodin talking ;)