So last night was my 10 year high school reunion, and even though I didn't get to attend, I still feel like there is no way 10 years has gone by. At this time, 10 years ago, I was working at a convenience store and getting all excited about going to college! I never finished...lol...but I do remember being really excited about it. Wish I would have kept that motivation.
I made the comment a few weeks ago about how it would be pointless for me to show up at the reunion because I really haven't made anything of myself...and well, I hurt a few peoples feelings. That wasn't my intention, but that's what happened. I'm at a very awkward place in my life right now. I just had part of my stomach cut out, due to the fact that I couldn't control my portion control on my own.....that's embarrassing in itself. Then I also let my body completely go in the past 2 years....I worked my butt off, lost 60 lbs then put it all back on. I'm a cosmetology student, which just so happens to be a profession that most people label as the losers. The people that couldn't cut it in college.....(yes, I've heard these words come out of peoples mouths...I smile at them, handed them a business card and walked away....assholes) Well, without us "losers" you would be walking around with some ugly ass hair and bushy eyebrows and lips and might not even know how to apply makeup properly. I am still a student, not a professional yet, but it does take a lot of talent to do what we do. Just sayin.....
So back to my point, when I said that I didn't have anything to show for, and I saw that I hurt some people, I really got thinking....
First of all, I have tons to show!! I have two very beautiful, smart, well behaved and AMAZING kiddos! They are my world. I chose to start a family before I chose a career, and there's nothing wrong with that. :D I was blessed to be able to do that.
Secondly, ummmmmm...have you seen or met my hubby!? He's f-n amazing! I never raised these babies by myself! Sleepless nights, yeah he had them too. There was not one feeding in the middle of the night that I did on my own....if i was up, he was up, and sometimes, he even let me sleep!! He changed diapers, bathed, fed and played with those babies every second he got. And even though they're 5 now, he still does everything I do. He even cooks...and is damn good at it too! I'm so lucky......blessed would be a better word.
And thirdly, I may be fat, but I'm moving in the right direction...and I mean does my waistline really make me who I am? Nope. I'm still Billie Lynn....plain ol' Billie Lynn. I like to think I'm funny and caring and a pretty damn good friend. I'm a daughter, a mother, a lover, a wife and a cosmo student! I'm at an amazing stage in my life, not so much awkward. Sometimes it just takes writing things down to really understand that.
Sorry for my ramblings, but this is my journey and things I'm working through. I think we all have times like these. I had a friend that waited a while to get married and start a family, and she thought she was the weird one....lol....so I guess it's just our view of ourselves....
My life may not be what some people had pegged it for, but I think it's right on track....
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