New Year's Eve....

Wow....what a year. Where to start. This year was amazing. Chance has once again worked his tahookie off and has received 3 raises this year. He's so amazing and I'm so blessed to have him. He's my rock and my constant reminder that everything I've done has been worth it. He had an amazing year and I hope this next year is just as great if not better!

The kiddos have come a long way this year....first year of public school. Madi is soaring and Jaxon is doing the typical boy thing....and catching on a little later. But he's been coming along by leaps and bounds. So proud of my kids. They are the biggest lovers and so kind hearted. Can't imagine where they get that from.

My Momma moved off to Wisconsin and is happy as can be. And my Daddy is doing really great as well. I haven't stayed in contact with my brother Donnie as much as I would like (something to work on this year), but we both know we're still here for each other, day or night. My sister Tonya and I are still just trucking along. She's one of my very best friends. I can show my true colors to her and she doesn't judge me or try to talk me out of something. She gives me honest feedback and I appreciate that. My brother Tim and I have become super close. That makes my heart happy. That was the one relationship in my family that I was lacking. And it has grown so much. We're closer than ever :) My entire family seems to be doing great.

Then there is me.....what to say. This year I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make. To most people it's something insignificant, but to me, it's important and changed my life. I had my surgery for gastric sleeve on June 6th and since then I have lost 84 pounds. It's not just about the numbers though.
I can stand for 10 hours a day and not want to die at the end of the day.
I can run with my kids and I still become very winded, but I CAN run with my kids. My back problems are gone.
My hip problems are gone.
My asthma is nonexistent.
My headaches so every 2-3 months instead of weekly.
I only go to the chiropractor every 2-3 months...and that's for my headaches.
I can go up a flight of stairs and not become winded.
My husband can pick me up and carry me to bed.
My husband can buy me the super sexy lingerie and not have to worry if he can find it in my size or if he's going to upset me when it's too small.
My husband can wrap his arms all the way around me :)
I can shop in regular department stores...and super trendy stores, and no one looks at me like I shouldn't be there.
I still have a long way to go. So many things I still have to work on. I have to work on the emotional aspects of it all. I hope that in 2012, I can be more comfortable in my own skin. I hope that by next Christmas I'll be getting my Mommy makeover and I'll never have to see my flabby tummy again....lol...it's the small things. I've not vain, I just want to feel pretty again. So hopefully, 2012 will have that in store for me.

Thanks for reading my ramblings and thanks for all the support throughout this process! I hope you all realize how much it means to me :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

thoughts....

I saw this image in an article today...and it is the epitamy of how I see myself. It's really sad how I look at myself. I have days where I think I look great, and other days I look in the mirror and tear myself up. I do have the markings of twins....that's awesome and I'm covered in scars from all my previous surgeries. Chance asked me a good question the other day...."When are you ever going to be happy with what you see in the mirror? When are you finally going to be happy to be you?" Great questions...and questions that I truly don't have the answers for. I know that I'm a great person. I'm an amazing Momma and great wife. I like to think I'm a great friend. I am very selfish at times and I take way too much shit from people 90% of the time, mainly because I'm worrried that I might hurt their feelings....which is kinda funny....lol.....cause they're hurting mine. I still have to physically stop myself from eating when I'm happy or sad or celebrating or depressed....so all the time pretty much....this really sucks. There I said it. I am still a work in progress and I have a feeling it's going to take a whole lot longer than I thought....crap. lol I didn't weigh this morning, I actually refused to get on the scale after all the Christmas goodies I ate this weekend....I'm just in denile...and that's cool...but instead of looking at the weight I most likely put on, I'm going to look at the fact that I'm down 80 some odd pounds and I'm happier and healthier than I've been in years.....who cares that I have a huge pocket of skin where a flat tummy should be, who cares that my arms are flabby and who the hell cares that my boobs have shrunk....cause Chance still thinks I'm beautiful and I kinda think I'm alright lookin too....hehehehehe...

Not weight related at all.....

but I just had to share that Mad-dog tied her own shoes today! That's a BIG deal!! LOL I hope to look back at this blog in a years to come and be able to read things like this and cherish it. So there's my spill for today!! YAY! Go MADI GO! :)

SW: 281.8
CW: 199.0

I didn't lose much this week, but I'm still losing! WOOT WOOT! It was a really great weekend, and I splurged a little too much....flippin soda is still the devil. Drank some on Saturday night and my weight on Sunday morning was back up to 203.0...holy crap. And I just drank water and milk yesterday and my weight was back down to 199 this morning....amazing how much water soda can make you retain. Anywho---Hope you all have an amazing week!! :) The in laws will be here on Wednesday or Thursday, then Christmas on Sunday! YAY! The kiddos are super excited and counting down the days religiously...lol

Week .....not so sure....lol

I know it has been six months and one week, soooo....week 25? lol

SW: 281.8
CW: 199.6

I lost exactly 1 pound this week...and I couldn't be happier!!! Because that one pound did something very special for me.....I'm now a happy citizen of....
ONEDERLAND!!!!

Holy smokes....what an amazing feeling! Just to see that one at the beginning of my weight, it's awesome! I'm still overweight and according to my BMI, which is 28.6, I am overweight....but just for the record, I started out in the Obese range, so I'm happy with overweight at this point :)

Have a wonderful day!!! I know I will :)

woah.

I got all kinds of fancy last night! I did my hair, just like Aubrey told me, did my makeup, just like Chante has showed me a million times and I put that dress on and worked it just like Kaley and Rozalynn told me to....and it worked! I had people that didn't even recognize me! The big joke of the night was, "Hey Chance, who's this lady, you're wife is gonna get pissed." lol Made me laugh, then you have the haters who obviously said it through clenched teeth "Oh wow, you look so nice." Thanks.....lol But anywho---here's the final product :) Made my heart happy to finally be Chance's arm candy.....you see, I've always been his arm candy according to him, but in my little mind I was always just the girl with the pretty face....and now, I'm the whole package....it may seem shallow as hell, but it's a great feeling.






I had a few drinks and walked around a lot, my feet are bruised this morning....heels are NOT my friend...lol But all in all it was nice! And the best part was when I hopped on the scale this morning and it read 200.6!! WOAH! I figured since I drank last night that my weight would go up a notch or two...but nope...it sure didn't...went down almost 3 pounds! SWEEEEEET!