Day 5 & 6...

Yesterday was awesome! I was eating fine, getting into the groove of things. I even got out of the house. I went to Leslie's Pool Supply with Chance and CVS for my calcium chews and we stopped by his office to do some "work." I sat and watched of course. My water intake was even good.


Today....I didn't sleep real well last night, but I feel alright today. My support band around my stomach is killing me. We got it to tight a few days ago and it's left little sores. Not bad...just itchy and irritating. If you've ever had a cast, you know how that feeling is. Same thing. I feel super hungry today...but I've been fighting it. I had about 3 ozs of strawberry protein shake for breakfast, my flintstones vitamin, a calcium chew, constant sips of water. lunch rolled around and I ate some tuna. It's crazy how much my tastes have changed. I didn't have it in me to roll out of bed early this morning. I could smell my Momma cooking something yummy for breakfast, so I just stayed cooped up in my room until I heard the clinking of dishes being washed. I'm still fighting it...but by God, I'm fighting it. :)
I'm hoping I'll have the energy in a bit to go to Lowe's with Chance to get a few things...but I'm not gonna hold my breath. Like I said earlier, I'm awfully tired. 400 calories a day is super hard on the ol body...especially when it's so used to getting much more than that....it's just a period of adjustment...

Tomorrow is weigh in day!!! 1 week post op!!! I've been watching my weight daily, but I was waiting til the first week to post it. My weigh ins will be weekly and my measurements and pics will be monthly. I think that'll be a good plan...for now :)


Thanks again for all the constant support and sweet messages. I know I don't always get to reply back to all of them, but you know who you are and I appreciate all that more than you'll ever know! :D

Day 4...

I started having the "what have I done's" yesterday...but I'm much better today. I got to eat some mashed potatoes with protein powder for dinner last night and two teeny tiny bites of chicken. Chewed up 40 times. Try doing that sometime...it's pretty hard to chew something up that much. I've been craving foods, but just knowing how badly they'll hurt me, keeps me away. The one thing that is kinda killing me is Dr.Pepper. I told Mom yesterday that I was close to a panic attack because I wanted one so badly. The Dr said I could pour one into a cup, let it go flat and drink it then...but I mean, really?? what's the point. I made a choice when I decided to have this done, lifestyle change. forever. It's almost liberating to be eating just to nourish my body and that's the only purpose. Might sound odd to some people, but it's kinda awesome for me.

I missed my psychologist appointment yesterday. I didn't think it would effect me that much, but it has. Good thing my Momma is here. She's done so much to help me, both physically and mentally. She knows when to shut up and she knows when to say what I don't want to hear, but NEED to hear. Thanks Momma. I was doing really well yesterday, but not feeling so well today. I wanted to go to for a walk today, but I don't think that'll happen. I'm weak. Trying to balance the proper amount of water (64oz/day) and protein(60g) has proven to be difficult. But after I've talked to other sleevers, they've just said to focus on water and take two Flintstones vitamins a day. The biggest concern is dehydration. You definitely don't want that. They also said to try and get as much protein as you can, but don't make yourself sick trying. It will all come in time, and healing.

So all and all, I'm pretty happy today. Just trying to balance food, kids, and love ;) My poor hubby has been pretty worried, I hope he can see how good I'm doing...and how happy I am. and I promise, it's not just the vicodin talking ;)

Day 3...

They say that the 3rd day after surgery is supposed to be the worst...but it really hasn't been that bad. In fact, I didn't even have to take a pain pill until 9:30 this morning! WOOHOO! I hate those things....they leave me all foggy and groggy headed. I'm realizing how difficult it is to fully monitor everything that is coming into your body, when you've never had to do it like this. I have to measure down to the ounces for my water intake. I had some tea today, no sugar of course, and it tasted like heaven...lol...it's the small things. I also ventured into the scrambled egg land. I ate about a 1/4 of a scrambled egg and it hasn't hurt me, so that's a plus. I need that protein badly. If any of you have any websites or tricks to get protein powder samples, let me know. I could use them. That crap is expensive and not all of it tastes too great. Don't wanna drop $50 on some powder that will never get drank.

I'm doing really well on the emotional side of things. I haven't had a total breakdown yet, and I don't feel like I will until I'm really feeling good, and can eat whatever I want and I have to stop myself. That's when that fancy smancy psychologist comes into play :) LOLOL I kid....but really. That's why I have him. I know it's coming...this has to be the calm before the storm...or something like that...lol...well, until next time :) I'm out..it's pain pill and nap time for me ;)

Update from the hospital...hahahahah...what was I thinking!?

Well...that was a whirlwind...We got there at 4:45 am Monday morning, surgery started before 7. Went off without a hitch. Perfect surgery. We even have an awesome DVD of my surgery...hit me up if your interested ;) Took less than an hour, he decided I could go home. We were out of the hospital by 2:00. That was awesome...except I had to give up my morphine. Yeah, morphine.... We drove home, Chance filled nausea meds and vicodine scripts, my bestie came to see me, she even sat there while I tried to puke...you haven't felt pain until you try to puke after have 80% of your stomach cut out. Let me tell you, that's a different kind of pain. I've pretty much just been sleeping. Drinking my liquids, taking my pain killers and sleeping. They say sleep is the best way to re coop. I hope they're correct. Protein powder is a godsend. Everything taste different now. No bad different, just new different. It's very odd. I finally got to take a shower this morning....I swear to you, I smelled like a skunk, but I did have this really awesome orange tan from mid thigh to just above my chest...lol...bedodine. ;) lol

Today has been a little better. I've discovered many things about my body through this short while. First of all, when they say you're going to have gas, they aren't kidding...lol...and you can't really control it either...good thing my mother and children have a good sense of humor and don't judge me too much. Secondly, it hurts when my stomach growls....like makes my eyes tear up hurt. Thirdly, I really didn't realize I could live off of this few calories and be alright. I'm barely bringing in 600 calories, but I'm taking my Flintstones chewable (that's all I can handle right now) and my unflavored protein powder and I'm doing alright.

This is a mumble jumbled mess, but my mind is just kinda like that right now....I'm going to give you a peek at what i got to "eat" yesterday....lol...enjoy, don't judge :)

6-7-11

7:45 nausea med 1/2 vidodin

8:00 sugar free Popsicle

8:15 1/2 vicodin

10:55 4oz. ckn broth w/ protein powder

1:00 1/2 vicodin

1?30 1/2 vicodin

4:15 nausea meds, 4 oz chicken broth/ pp, 1/2C diluted apple juice

5:30 1/2 vicodin

5:45 1/2 vicodin

5:55 5oz water

9:00 sugar free popsicle.

That's my day...and you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get all that down. I'm also sipping water throughout the day....slowly, and not too close to "meal" times.

Thanks for all thoughts and prayers and support!! It means the world!! :D

And a HUGE shout out to all my friends at Milan!!! I LOVE MY CARD!!! Thank you so much! It brightened my day :D Thanks for bringing it by Annie :D

...

Well, in 30 minutes, we will be walking out the house and heading to the hospital. I'm a full blown ball of nerves. I know everything will be fine, but I'm still nervous. Nervous about many things....am I making the right decision? is this as safe as I've told myself over and over? am I going to be able to be happy without my food? And the answers to all of those are yes, I know I will and I can....

Eat to Live, don't live to eat.

My food may be gone, but I'll be a whole lot healthier for my little family. And their happiness and mine means a whole lot :)

Wish me luck!

Testing...testing...

Just checking to see if my phone is connected to my blog. I'll update from the hospital if this works.

My new journey...

Yep...that's me....I'm way more nervous than I look...

Boy oh boy...its been a while...last I wrote, I was still battling with my weight. And I still am...but I have chosen to take my weight loss into my own hands and get a gastric sleeve. This is not a decision that I didn't think about. I've been thinking about a lap-band for the past two years. My doctor approved me for that almost a year and a half ago...but I was chicken, and thought I could do it on my own. Well 20 lbs later, it's apparent that I couldn't.

For those of you who have judged me for my decision, saying it's an easy way out, I would like to know how you came to that conclusion. How could cutting out 80% of my stomach be an easy way out. I will no longer be able to enjoy the foods that I love. I have had to start going to psychologist just for my food addiction....yep, My name is Billie Lynn and I'm a food addict. For the first year I will be living off of liquid and pureed and soft foods. If that's an easy way out, well then I've got it all wrong. I'm not looking forward to all the hardships ahead of me, but it's something I have to do. For my health, for my children and for myself. I want to see then grow up and I want to see my grandchildren grow up too.

I took my measurements...not so fun...oy...it's embarrassing to see how much I let myself go...but here they are, with a pre-op picture or two or four...

6/5/11 Measurements

Left wrist 6.5"

Right writst 6.5"

Left upper arm 17.25"

Right upper arm 17.25

Chest 48"

Waist 47"

Hips 56.5"

Left thigh 31"

Right thigh 32"

Left calf 16.5"

Right calf 16"

Dress size 22/24

Shirt Size 22/24

Bra Size 40F

Ring Size 9"

Shoe Size 9.5"

Neck size 16"

Weight: 281 lbs

Tomorrow is the big day....I'm praying for a good, no problems kind of surgery....please say a few prayers for me :)